Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 366

Dear Diary,

I feel the weight of the world on my little kitty shoulders… Actually, big kitty shoulders. Who am I kidding? I’m almost 20 pounds of brute force husk.

There’s been talk of a new employee coming with a start date of March 2016, and while I can always use a third assistant (there’s so much to be done!), I’m starting to get a bit worried. First of all, the new girl seems to be demanding a lot of attention from both my first and second assistants. I haven’t met her yet, but she’s always being discussed. The current team is constantly talking to her and cooing in that voice that’s usually reserved for me.

I’m also alarmed at the rate at which the new employee is accumulating things, and you know what they say: a cat’s house is his home. I’m starting to feel like the new girl is already taking over. The evidence? This pink — I don’t know what it is. An owl? Some kind of toy to scratch? I tried playing with it once, and my female assistant said, “No, Tabs, no!” in a tone I did not appreciate.

From what I can discern, it’s an object on which you turn a key, and it makes noises of which I am not fond.

On the positive side, because I always try to have a sunny disposition, my bed situation has gotten much better over the past month or so. My female assistant has been sleeping with this alternative pillow setup, which she refers to as “the pregnancy doughnut.” I prefer that she call it “the kitty burrito.” Basically, it’s just four pillows set up in a manner that perfectly holds my body when I’m lounging on my bed. There’s something that just feels right about it, as if I’m being transported back to my kitty mom’s womb. I could sleep there all day long, and in fact, I have.

The days are also getting shorter and cooler, which leads me to my final woe. I’m not going outside nearly as much as I should. I keep trying to express to my male assistant that I need the vitamin D, but he doesn’t seem to understand. Needless to say, this is incredibly frustrating.

I’ve thought about picking up the leash and carrying it to the door, but then I realized, I’m not a dog. I won’t stoop to that level.

Despite these challenges, Diary, I’m gonna keep my whiskers up, because life is full of challenges, and I can handle them all. That’s just how I’m built.

Keep on keepin’ on,
Tabs