Dear friends and felines,
It’s time to pack up the cooler and the sunscreen, because we’re going to the beach!
Actually, you’re going to the beach. I’ll be going to my beach houses in Ibiza, Miami and Waikiki. Stop by if you’re staying in Kahala, South Beach or Cannes.
I can’t guarantee I’ll be relaxing, because the paparazzi follow me everywhere… Some famous cats pretend that they don’t like having their picture taken, but you know, I’m not gonna lie — I love it. It gives me a chance to show off my fit bod, which, by the way, I’ve been working on for the last month and a half.
I mean, you know I’m always ready to show off these curves, but I want to be extra ready to flaunt it by June. I was given this perfect physique for a reason, and it is my duty to share it with the world.
I’ve been training rigorously to get my tum, my bum and my tail beach ready, and because I’m a cutting edge kitty, I don’t go for old-school exercises. I’ve hired the most forward -thinking personal trainers in the business. One of them, this guy named Teddy, works with Stephen Curry.
Yes, the Stephen Curry of the Golden State Warriors. Actually, Stephen introduced me to him.
We do things like stair training, where I chase my favorite crinkly ball up and down. It fine tunes my fast-twitch muscle fibers and really gets my heart pumping.
We also do a lot of shopping bag training, where I pounce in and out of shopping bags. Those really get your heart rate up.
It’s not all about looks. We focus on paw-eye coordination using props and real life outdoor situations, because, you know, the beach isn’t a controlled environment. You have to know how your body responds to different terrain and conditions. After all, posing in Waikiki is nothing like posing in Cannes.
So yeah, I’m pretty much ready to show off my heard-earned results. If you happen to see me sometime on the beach, I hope you come up and say hi. We’ll take a selfie together.
Surf’s up!
Tabs
Love the look of your trainer! Your routine sounds really interesting, looks like stuff I could integrate into my circus training! I start a new trapeze class this Tuesday… it’s a bit of a drive, but I’m excited to get back on the trapeze.
I hope you enjoy your travel! We just got back from Florida. Jiji and Mina staycationed with my brother filling in as their assistant, and Quincy spent some time at Creature Comforts bed and bath, which included extra play time (he’s turning 9, so he has to keep on top of his game!)
Hi Chelsea,
It sounds like my internet fur friends had an exciting time while you were away.
When is Quincy’s birthday? Please send him early birthday wishes.
Kisses,
Tabs
We don’t know his exact birthday,but it’s May or June. His gotcha day is July 2nd. He thanks you for the kind wishes!
Tabs, you need to tell us who your whiskers stylist is. My employer Ernesto keeps asking every time we read your Sunday column!
My dearest Ernesto,
Believe it or not, I style my own whiskers! I’m kind of a control freak that way. Let me know if you’d like some whisker styling tips. I’m happy to help you purr-fect yours!
Love ya,
Tabs
Coco woukd like some mani pedi tips please. Like the ideal claw length and whether to buff or not? Also, she’d like to ask how many hours sleep you consider the optimum, she’s not sure if 16 hours is enough beauty sleep!
Hello Jane and Coco,
I think claw length varies according to paw shape and size. For my voluptuous paws, I prefer a longer claw length, but if your paws are of a more delicate nature, I’d say go slightly shorter. Don’t go too short, though, since you want to keep them long enough to show all the others who’s boss. As for buffing, yeah, get your assistant to buff them ASAP, since it takes those claws to the next level.
As for beauty sleep, I get at least 23 hours every day, minimum. Lots of sleep is the key to my stunning physique!
Kisses and kitty hugs,
Tabs
You know what? You are much more beautiful than the starlets of Cannes.You are silicon free, lifting free, just your fresh face and you are a GOOD actor.So you can pose.Have a nice week , dear Tabs.
My darling Florence,
You have a good week too! I hope all the kitties follow you around and give you all of their kisses.
MWAH!
Tabs
I should do some paper bag training as well. If only I could find one that fits my size at the moment.
I totally understand your predicament! The struggle is so real.
Kisses,
Tabs
Dear Tabs,
I got a leopard print cat tunnel this weekend.
It has a nice crunchy sound and catnip.
You should request one, but make sure it is leopard print because that’s the best kind.
xoxo
I’m all about the leopard print, Isis.
Meow,
Tabs
I bet you will look spectacular by summer, Tabs!
I look spectacular every day! But summer I’ll be extra spectacular!
XOX,
Tabs
I love all these photos of him playing
Meow!
Lookin’ fab, Tabs! Keep up the hard work!
Why thank you, Pamela! I always aim to please the fans.
Kisses and kitty hugs,
Tabs
A bag full o’ Tabby :). <3 <3 <3
Tabs, you are a natural! Love your tail, so fluffy and well groomed :).
Thank you, Musical! I like to always take extra time to make sure my tail is extra purr-fect for my fans.
Love ya, mean it,
Tabs
Lookin’ good, Tabs! I’d love to know the details of your shopping bag training. Maybe I’ll incorporate it into my own workout routine. That is, if you think a snowshoe Siamese kitty like myself could keep up.
Meows to you,
Maddie =^..^=