Hi, friend. I’ve been a little quiet on this end lately, I know. I’ve been “in my feelings,” to quote Drake, especially yesterday, because my Coywolf started kindergarten.
Even though she’s been going to preschool for three years, it just really, really hit me yesterday that she’s on her way (Um, am I really going to cry again? I guess it’s a good thing that I haven’t put any makeup on yet.) to becoming a full-grown person.
I didn’t expect the feelings to hit me as hard as they did. It’s a mix of joy and sadness…or rather, it’s bittersweet. Where does the time go?
We’d been prepping for the day for a couple weeks — doing run-throughs of putting on her new backpack, trying on her uniform, breaking in her new shoes and talking, in detail, about how things would be different from preschool. One thing I failed to prepare for, though, was how I’d handle it!
Honestly, I thought I was going to be fine. I thought I was just going to go up there and drop her off, and that it would be that. Everything would go smoothly. But no. My eyes started welling up the moment I saw Connor’s teacher waiting to welcome her at the door.
I gave Connor a hug and a kiss and told her to have an amazing day, and she said, “Goodbye, mama,” and walked in with a smile on her face.
My friend, she didn’t even look back. Not at all. She strolled into the classroom, and I caught a last glimpse of the too-big backpack on her tiny little shoulders, her pigtails swinging in the air, and that was it. She was gone.
My heart went “BOOM.” It totally caught me off guard, but I’ve been leaning into it.
Now, before this becomes “the ballad of a hella emotional lady,” I need to share something minor-but-borderline-life-changing I discovered this week — chalk pens! Dude, they’re amazing.
They’re felt-tipped pens that contain liquid chalk, and they’re used just like markers, except on a chalkboard.
I absolutely love ’em! I think they made Connor’s picture board look a lot neater and nicer than regular chalk, and the words are easier to read.
I found this set at Target for 10 bucks and used them to fill out Connor’s back-to-school chalkboard that I have in her first day pics. I think it takes the board to the next level.
I’ve really enjoyed these last few bits of this golden time with my girl. She’ll grow up too soon, and pretty soon she’ll be graduating from high school and going to college in just the blink of an eye.
Who knows? Maybe when that time comes, we’ll still be here talking about makeup and cats, and I’ll still be here bawling my eyes out.
Maybe. Who knows?
Anyway, I love you. Thank you for listening. Talk to you soon.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
P.S. TGIF! 🤗
I get you. Last year was supposed to be my son’s first year of school. Instead, we had virtual learning all year. This past week, he started first grade in person, but it was his first time being in a school building. As much as we prepped for it, I was not ready! I bawled my eyes out in that parking lot.
I did the same thing, Susan. The tears flowed on the way to the car! Is he liking his class so far? I hope so.
I made the mistake of wearing normal mascara. I looked like a panicked panda. The crossing guard was legit concerned I couldn’t see to drive.
He is, once he gets in there. Not gonna lie, his separation anxiety has really flexed its muscles. But his teacher, principal, and the school counselor have been rockstars and so, so supportive. We collaborated on a strategy to help him – a sticker chart at home to mark his progress, weekly rewards to work towards, and his own support lovey that he takes to school specifically for hugs when he misses mom.
I hope your sweet kiddo has the best kindergarten year and that you have peace and comfort with all these big feelings. It’s a strange and wonderful thing to be a parent when your goal is to raise a human well enough that when it’s time for them to go on their own, you are the one that wobbles and their steps are firm. You’re doing a good job!
Thank you, Susan!
It sounds like your little one has a wonderful support team behind him; I hope that he has an outstanding year! Please keep me posted on how he’s doing. (I think it’s cool that we have kids around the same age.) It’s crazy to be raising little humans during this time, but at least we are stronger for it, right? You are doing a great job, mama!
I will keep you posted about my Sam and I look forward to your posts about Connor’s adventures in kindergarten. It certainly is a challenging time for everyone, especially so for parents of littles. A strong network of support is vital. One kind word can change the entire course of a day. I’ll be cheering you and yours on!
OMG. I cannot believe how she has grown into such a cutie. I remember when you were pregnant and when you brought her home from hospital !! I remember when she started preschool.
Mom journeys.
Karen, I used to be that first teacher that the children get in Kindergarten and many, many mums feel like you do. It’s surprising how quickly the mums adapt though – I think their child’s enthusiasm for going to school catches them up and they get involved and interested to share that with them, and you will too. She’s still your baby. XX
I started tearing up when I saw the photo. I totally forgot this was kindergarten year! I remember when you were complaining about having tummy issues but hadn’t announced yet! How is she in kindergarten? And where do the long legs come from?
Preschool wasn’t easy but kindergarten is a whole new playing field for mama tears. It’s really the beginning of everything–the start of her really getting her independence from you and papa.
I don’t know what things are like in Novato, but at Michael’s school they were cooking and baking every day of kindergarten. So, most days after school he would come home with a note about an ingredient they needed for the following day.
It was 99 percent of the time something I didn’t have in the house or had just ran out of.
I would have appreciated a note at the beginning of each month with a list of what we were responsible for bringing in. Because it was just an extra daily errand basically. Michael’s kindergarten teacher was mid-60’s I believe and it had been some time since her kids were little so I don’t think she realized the hassle it caused. Maybe I should have spoken up but it was my first and only kid and we’d only been in town a couple of years. I didn’t want to rock the boat. You know?
If you need to get your mind off kindergarten, watch Nine Perfect Strangers on Hulu.
How does she like school?
OMG! Look at those long legs on Connor! She is just adorable! I had the EXACT same plaid on my Catholic High School Uniform! Wow, seeing that, really took me back! She will love kindergarten! Thank you for sharing this milestone with us!
You are in good company, my friend! The first day of Kindergarten is a very emotional time. I’m so glad that Connor went off smiling without a look back. I promise it is so much better than a sad or frightened child that clings to a parent’s leg; I’ve seen it and it’s heartbreaking. I can’t imagine how brutal it is for the child and parent. 🙁 It’s also super-tough when your baby heads off to college and says he doesn’t want to leave and thinks he made a mistake (or so I heard… from a friend….ahem). I hope that Connor’s first day was fabulous and she’s been telling you all about it. There’s nothing like seeing your child happy and excited for school; it helps to ease the parents’ broken hearts. <3
I remember those days. Big hugs to you, my friend.
Oh tears! I just realized I’ve been peeping into your world for about 11? years now. Starting out with awesome beauty tips, pre-my marriage (now almost ending), Long Live Tabs the Wonder Cat! and now Conner Claire, the Amazing Coywolf, we’ve all watched come into the wold and grow into this amazingly beautiful being. And thank you so much for sharing just a little bit of her with all of us! What an amazing milestone! Can’t wait to hear all about how she conquers all! <3
Take ALL the time you need to be in your feelings. I heard a very similar story this week from my brother-in-law. All the hugs. Also, good to hear the Mondo brand is good, I’ve seen it at Target but figured it wouldn’t be high quality.
Sorry I missed this. We dropped Zack off at Ithaca yesterday and are on a mini-vacay in the Finger Lakes. It’s kind of like California Wine Country here, though different types of wine. Imam going to have to “dry out” whe we get back home.
Good luck with kingergarten! It’s a new adventure in both your lives. Just take it in!
Be well!
Aw, I cried so much when my eldest started school, and even my husband got all teary eyed. They grow up SO fast!