Product Reviews

Things nobody ever warns you about but probably should:

1. If you’re going to fill your trunk with things to donate to others — things that no longer spark joy for you (like that pink paisley polyester dress from Bebe you haven’t worn since 1999), but that could still hopefully spark joy for someone else, you’ve got to get your booty in the driver’s seat, put the keys in the ignition, and drive to Goodwill LIKE RIGHT NOW; otherwise, you’ll be driving around town with metal mixing bowls rattling around for months!
2. The majority of “adulting” consists of paperwork…and biting your tongue.
3. When the bare skin on your thighs repeatedly rubs together over a long period of time, it really, really hurts.

I’d like to file these things under “Lessons I’ve Learned the Hard Way,” especially item number three, which I figured out during my first half marathon. About halfway through, the friction between my bare thighs hurt so bad that I had a minor meltdown. I cried for three miles straight and had visions of the ground opening up underneath me and swallowing me whole.

I can laugh about it now, but it was like a raging garbage fire between my inner thighs at the time. This minor trauma taught me that whenever I wear something like shorts or a maxi dress, and I know that my legs are going to be rubbing against each other, it’s vital to have something to ease the glide between my thighs. I used to use a little Vaseline (I’d store it in an old contact lens case to prevent spillage in my purse!), but I got tired of it staining my clothes, so I just recently started using the Anti-Chafe Stick by Love AnyBody.

This unscented, non-sticky balm can be applied pretty much anywhere and everywhere your skin rubs — underarms, your neck, and the nook beneath your boobs — to stop chafing. It has vitamin E and aloe to soothe irritated skin, and no parabens or aluminum. The stick’s a little big and awkward to keep in a purse, but it’s convenient and doesn’t stain my clothes. I have a stick in my bathroom and use it in the morning, but I’m thinking about keeping an additional stick in my car because it’s kinda like deodorant or hand cream; it’s always handy to have extra around. I just whip it out and slick it on! Life changing, especially in this hot weather, I tell ya.

Another warm weather must-have I rely on: waterproof mascara. For YEARS, my go-to was Urban Decay Cannonball, which they discontinued a while back… Yes, I’m still hella salty about that, because why mess with a good thing?? Anyway, they replaced it with a waterproof version of their Perversion Mascara ($24). I’m totally on board with its dark black color, the anime ingenue curl and smudge-proof-ness (it was 99 degrees here yesterday, and there wasn’t a single smear underneath my eyes). Taking it off is also a cinch ’cause it slides right off with an oil-based makeup remover, so I don’t stress about my lashes breaking off. (Always a good thing.)