Rosie

Of all the things Tabs was, he was definitely not a minimalist. He’d go big on every occasion, but especially Halloween, and the day after his epic Halloween blowouts I would spend the day drinking green juices and detoxing while he would indulge in even more excess. I’m talking smoked fish flown in from Nova Scotia and caviar, and even though I would insist on eating a salad, I would find boxes upon boxes of Snickers all over the house.

If there were such a thing as an anti-“less is more,” it would have been him.

Yesterday I briefly wondered if he was doing it up at the Rainbow Bridge. I wonder what his costume was this year… I don’t know, I can see him being a golden mermaid.

I offered to throw Rosie a Halloween party multiple times, but she straight-up refused. She just wanted to stay home and quietly study chess. She just finished watching Queen’s Gambit, and now she wants to be a Grandmaster of cat chess.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Along with exhibiting a growing interest in the kitty modeling arts, Rosie has been going through the company archives of Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC to study the work of the company’s founder and try to ascertain how he achieved kitty modeling greatness.

With Halloween approaching, she paw-selected the following seasonal ad campaigns featuring Tabs as her Halloween favorites, all of which were filed in the company database under “Fabulously Frightening.”

Rosie’s Sunday walk

Connor escorted Rosie on her morning walk today while she inspected the grounds and performed her cat calisthenics.

Tensions weren’t high this time, which was nice, because Harris was nowhere to be found.

Rosie was able to truly relax and recharge once she was confident Harris wasn’t around. It was great that she could do her stretches without having to constantly look over her shoulder.

Oh! — last night Rosie also worked late to help us decorate the company entrance with customary seasonal accoutrements. She’s really becoming a valued member of the Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC team.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Tabs loved Halloween, as you know. We would get RSVPs to his annual Halloween party six months out, and I kept all of his Halloween treat and beverage recipes, like the following…

Shrimp Catnip Cocktails

Catnip Jello Parfait

Gravy Shooters

Rosie upping her modeling game

I’m shocked. Rosie’s been really upping her modeling game lately. As an academic, that girl can study, and she’s been watching endless tape of Tabs during the height of his runway career, picking up pointers and the nuances of kitty supermodeling. She told me that she has a PhD in biomechanics, which is probably why her muscle control is out of this world. When you understand the science behind the poses, you can really next level it. Or that’s what she tells me when she slow blinks.

I offered to leave the house free if Rosie wanted to throw a small get together with some of her kitty friends this Halloween, but I’ve yet to get a firm answer. She goes back and forth. She’s not quite the social butterfly like Tabs was, but I think she wants to spread her wings. We’ll see.

I’m stocking up on catnip essence and fresh catnip just in case she pulls a last-minute diva move at the witching hour and says, “Let’s throw a party!”

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

If you ask any celebrity who’s been there, Heidi Klum’s infamous Halloween parties were like a six on a scale of one to Tabs. I mean, going to one was better than staying home, but they couldn’t hold a candle to the annual cat costume galas thrown by Tabs.

Tabs turned Halloween into a week-long celebration. Dressing up was mandatory at the office, but on the plus side, you didn’t have to do your regular work. The week was all about fun, fur and festivities.

Tabs was actually the first corporate cat CFO to pioneer flex time for cat cosplay every October 31st. You didn’t have to do any of your regular work if you spent the time working on your costume instead. It was great!

Rosie, on the other paw…

She’s still considering her options for this Halloween.

It’ll be her first Halloween working for the company, and with the pandemic, she’s not sure she wants to dress up yet.

Plus, things have been a little tense around the office since Harris came back…

This morning was a little better though. Harris was nowhere to be found when Rosie and I went for our walk. She checked everywhere…

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Tabs got along with almost everyone.

Almost, with the exception of a few people and cats, including his corporate nemesis Harris, who staged a hostile takeover attempt of Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC a few years ago.

It failed, of course. Tabs adeptly defended his ownership of the company by purchasing all of the outstanding shares from the other members of the board of cat directors (didn’t hurt that he also sent them care packages of canned tuna in gravy).

Even though he’d been defeated, Harris never let up. He continued to torment Tabs for years, often attempting to sneak onto company property. Luckily, Tabs was always here to protect it.

When Tabs passed away last year, we thought Harris would give up and set his sights on a new corporate conquest.

But apparently that was wishful thinking…

Rosie to Harris, “Get off our property!”

Rosie and I have been going for walks on Sunday mornings now, like Tabs and I used to.

She doesn’t take corporate security quite as seriously as Tabs did. She’s more into exploring and getting the lay of the land, nibbling on grass shoots and keeping an eye on the local turkeys.

But guess who showed up this morning?

Yup, Harris.

And Rosie wasn’t having any of it. She made it clear right away that Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC was still off limits, and he would have to move along.

I don’t know if he got the message, but I hope so. She made it loud and clear.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen