Tabs

Rosie is a cat of science and claims that she has no interest in anything fashion or modeling related. I really want to believe this is true because, you know me, I am 100 percent behind lady cats in STEM. That said, I was shocked today when I saw her nosing around the climate controlled room where we keep all of Tabs’s couture collars.

Rosie was in the floral section, and while she browsed for a collar to wear, I took a trip down memory lane thinking of all the groundbreaking kitty modeling campaigns Tabs did before he crossed the Rainbow Bridge, especially those involving flowers…

Dr. Rosie, Plant Geneticist

Rosie does have a strong interest in botany, particularly plant genetics, which is why I think she chose this collar today. I’m assuming she was cooking up some kind of experiment. Who knows? She’s a mystery. I do know that the yellow flowers in this collar play off the orange patches in her fur nicely.

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Tabs was primarily known for his fashion sense and his flair for fabulousness and the food-related arts, but he wasn’t just a husky tabby. Sure, he was celebrated for his perfection of the feline form, but his mind was equally robust.

I think if he had had more hours in the day, in addition to kitty modeling and all of his other various businesses and philanthropic projects, he would have been the Elon Musk of cats. I was actually tidying up some of his old papers the other day, and I found what I think were napkin drawings of his plans for Space X.

I really do wonder where Elon got all of his ideas… Was Tabs up in the mix, and I just didn’t know about it? I know for a while they were texting…

Not all of his frenemies knew about his brilliant mind. They just assumed he was a pretty boy tabby with nothing but cobwebs up top, but really he was always planning and strategizing.

He loved all things technology and was on the forefront in the realms of robotics, coding and science.

Pretty Girl Rosie, PhD

Science is Rosie’s first and apparently only love. (Well, besides Temptations treats.) She could talk about formulas and numbers all day long. One day I asked her what she thought about advanced math, and five minutes into the conversation my brain turned into pudding. She’s so smart! And she’s not afraid to flaunt her brilliance.

This new pendant came in the mail the other day, and I just thought it was a shiny bauble from Tiffany, but noooo. Rosie has informed me that it is a completely new element that she synthesized in her lab. (Side note: Where is this lab? I live with the cat, and I have no idea where it is.)

Anyway, it’s apparently able to conduct multiple sources of energy at the same time. I don’t quite understand it. She was trying to explain it to me, and I sort of just passed out because it was way over my head.

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Glamour-puss. Diva. “It cat.” Tabs wasn’t simply a trendsetter. He was a kitty supermodeling savant, a feline fashion icon and the cat kingpin of kitty accessories.

But Rosie is no slouch when it comes to cat style, and she’s been feelin’ herself lately. As you know, she’s more academically oriented than Tabs was. She holds PhDs in astrophysics, mathematics, biology and mechanical engineering, among other disciplines, but ever since she started working for Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC, she’s been expanding her horizons into kitty modeling.

Dr. Rosie

Last week she 3D printed this solid gold digital calculator pendant so she can perform her calculations on her walk.

The only thing is, the bling is attracting unwanted attention from cat ne’er-do-wells, like the shifty individual Rosie noticed hiding underneath a truck…

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This time of year, I keep my gaze looking forward, which is something I learned from Tabs. Right after every Christmas, he’d always have me draft his New Year’s resolutions for the upcoming year, so I took some time to work on mine today, and one of the things I would like to do in 2021 is become an avid cyclist.

I’m gonna start my cycling journey by spending lots of time on my new stationary bike. ?‍♀️

I have a feeling my feet will thank me in a few years.

While I was riding today, I got to thinking about Tabs’ resolutions throughout the years…

He had some quirky ones, like one year he wanted to win a chili cook-off. Another year he wanted to become a hydroponics expert, and the cool thing about him was that he actually did all those things!

Rosie’s resolutions

I asked Rosie today if she had any New Year’s resolutions, and the first thing she said was that she would like to climb all of the trees in the neighborhood in 2021. She had me draw out a map of the neighborhood topiary, and after she climbs each tree, we’ll be marking it off with a big red “X.”

She also plans to learn to code and is currently working on Python…

And this one surprised me: she would like to make peace with Harris, the self-appointed cat mayor of the neighborhood.

Last, but certainly not least, she plans to become a chess grandmaster, which I see as very fitting.

Oh, Rosie just meowed! I think she’s asking what your New Year’s resolutions are. ?

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

This thug and his low-hanging belly… It certainly complemented his poinsettia collar purrfectly.

The collar is a statement collar, and it takes a certain type of cat to really pull it off because it’s so substantial, and so was Tabs.

We get a little nostalgic around here this time of year because we miss our tabby… ? He was such a presence, and I’m pretty sure he and Santa were tight. ?

I took the collar out today because I was thinking about Tabs, and Rosie curiously came by and sniffed it, so I thought, “Hey, you deserve to feel beautiful on your walk today. Let’s put this on you and see what adventures we can have.”

Have a very Rosie Christmas

There was no tree climbing today; however, there was lots of exploring, peaceful contemplation and all around cuteness. I told her not to feel pressured. She didn’t have to pose for the camera, but if she felt like strutting, just go for it.

I wonder sometimes if she can sense Tabs when she wears his old collars. They certainly bring out a different side of her.

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Tabs liked his Christmas trees full and lush…and now that I think about it, they were often shaped like him, with a very round, robust bottom.

He always insisted on being the one to pick out the tree for the house, and I think his list of criteria for acceptable trees included making sure the branches were low enough for him to hide under so that he could launch a sneak attack and swat at your ankles.

It’s been a year and half since Tabs crossed the rainbow bridge, and I’ve held on to his stocking. I put it up again this year, and even though he physically can’t be with me on Christmas, he still gets a sprig of fresh catnip.

Rosie’s been excited about the upcoming holiday too. Cats are funny… She also likes to hide under the tree, but I think it’s more of a relaxing experience for her than it was for Tabs. She’ll stare up at the branches dreamily, rather than vengefully swatting at your legs as you walk by.

I’m surprised she has yet to try climbing the actual tree, since all she wants to do when we go outside is climb trees.

Now that I’ve said that out loud, though, I think I may end up regretting it. How much do you wanna bet that tree is getting tipped over soon?

It’s a very Rosie Christmas

She went outside today wearing a very festive silver collar with matching silver hat. Her style is usually a little bit lower key than Tabs’ was. I think she’s enjoying her time in the limelight, and yes, while we were out there she climbed a tree. ?

She’s sitting on my lap right now, rubbing her cheeks against my shoulder and looking up at me oh-so sweetly… I think it’s because she wants Temptations treats for Christmas, and this is her way of letting Santa know that she’s been a very good cat this year. ?

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We put up our Christmas tree today, and every time I string the lights around the tree, I always have to tell the story of how, one year, Tabs tipped the Christmas tree over, and he did it with ninja-like silence, because I was actually in the same room with my back turned to him and didn’t even realize it happened.

One minute I looked over my shoulder, and there he was — bam! — with the Christmas tree tipped over.

He fancied himself as the king of Christmas, and he especially loved a festive, sparkly collar.

Every year, he would gather presents for kittens in need for his foundation, and through his foundation he would donate much-needed Christmas cans of tuna to kittens all over Marin County.

Rosie Girl Christmas

I felt a little nostalgic when I took out his favorite Christmas collar… I asked Rosie if she wanted to try it on, and being the easy-going gal that she is, she said, “Meow-wow [sure, why not?].”

I think the antlers that were originally attached to this collar were auctioned off for charity, which is why Rosie doesn’t have them on.

I think she could feel the spirit of Tabs when she walked around “her property” this morning, because I caught her striking a pose or two when I least expected it.

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There were a few months — a very brief window — when Tabs was just, like, checked out and burnt out from kitty modeling, and he actually packed up all of his things and headed to big sky country in order to pursue cowboy life.

Yes, it’s totally true! I guess I should’ve become suspicious when he had me play Bon Jovi’s acoustic version of Dead or Alive on repeat for three weeks straight. Next thing you know, I’m ordering cowboy boots, 10-gallon hats and elaborate belt buckles (which, believe me, are not easy to find for overweight tabby cats).

Don’t ask me why I was so shocked when he announced one day that we were moving to his ranch in Montana.

To be honest, I actually really loved it there. I liked being off the grid, and I appreciated Tabs’ affinity for horses. Looking at him, you wouldn’t think he was a horse cat. I mean, he was all soft paws and immaculately groomed fur, but he got down and dirty, man! Ranch life suited him well.

There were a few instances when I could have sworn he was communicating with his ponies telepathically. I asked him about it once while we were cooking beans out of a can over a campfire, and he said that he felt a deep camaraderie with the horses. He admired their inability to be tamed.

Obviously, we came back to the Bay Area. His tech companies kept calling, and the fashion people eventually found us, so he had to return to real life, and so did I.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen