I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, mostly because at all the Halloween family events last week, I had so many awkward conversations with other parents. Is it just me, or are we all collectively out of practice with how to be social in groups? I’m especially out of practice in the art of small talk. I used to be really good at it, too, especially with strangers, but last week, man! I was super uncomfortable, ugh.
I keep telling myself this is just temporary, and soon I’ll be able to socialize like I used to when I get more practice. I know it’s going to take a while, though.
How are your small-talk/social skills these days? Good? Not so good? Great? Inquiring minds want to know.
Oh, and if you have any tips on how to make it easier, please share! I could use the help.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
I probably won’t be too much help to you on this topic. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly chatty, especially with strangers, if I don’t have to be. I mean, I’ll absolutely be polite if someone is talking to me, but you’d never have to worry about putting in earbuds if you were next to me on a plane. Well, you personally might. HAHA! But not a stranger. 🙂 I find getting people to talk about their kids or pets is usually a winner. I’m sure you’ll be right back in the swing of it soon!
Oh Karen this is such a timely question – I was just wondering this morning if I was really annoying in the yarn store the other day! I kept butting into conversations and trying to chat with people across the room. Yeah, my hard-won social skills are degrading without regular practice, YIKES.
Hey SJ,
I tried talking (tried being the key word here), and I swear it was like pulling teeth. I was SO UNCOMFORTABLE. Now that I think about it, I’m now wondering if I was annoying one of the moms who introduced herself last week, LOL! I probably was but whatevs!
What did you get at the yarn store?
Talking to people you don’t know intimately these days is just so hard!
A friend and I are doing a sweater knitalong, and I needed the yarn for it. I’m so excited about the yarn and I hope the sweater goes well!
I haven’t been invited to a block party since I dropped the “bodily fluid clean up kit” at the mailboxes in front of the neighbors. (Folks, it’s for WORK – I don’t leave in the middle of the night with a black bag because I’m a serial killer!)
Tip: ask people questions then 1) they like you and think you’re a good listener and 2) you don’t have to think of what to say!
OK, so here’s the thing. I do this ALL THE TIME. And the conversation ends up totally one sided with me just asking a bunch of questions while the other person talks about themselves the entire time. I’ll pause to give them a moment to ask me something, but more often than not, that doesn’t happen. I honestly don’t know if it’s just how people are where I live in the Bay Area. I once had a neighbor who, kid you not, never asked me a question about me or my family, ever. Insert shoulder shrug here, LOL.
Hi Karen! This is really timely. I tend to do that as well, but yesterday the opposite happened. I met this woman who took this whole question strategy to a next level. I mean, she kept asking me all those detailed questions about work and I kept answering them to be polite but I ended up being uncomfortable – I thought it was just too much. I guess I should have been more assertive but I, like you said, I’m just out of practice. At one point, I managed to ask HER some questions, but I still felt kind of upset because I had succumbed to all this weird small-talk interrogation.
Too many people are probably eager to get back to the urgent (sarcasm intentional) business on their phones. After all, it’s so much more critical to continue some text thread so a real face to face conversation is such an interruption! Why did you say good morning to me? Can’t you see I’m so busy looking at some inane photo posted by someone I don’t even know? Keep at it, Karen – it’s NOT you!!
A wonderful senior gal I know who everyone loves talking with once told me that the source of a good conversation is to have “loving interest.” I loved that. She has a gentle spirit that is also somehow lively and interesting.
And yes, I could use brushing up!!
I love that. Maybe I just need to find more people with a reciprocal loving interest? It’s doesn’t seem to be easy to find in the Bay Area.
Hi Karen – although I must engage in small talk often in my work days I often get nervous anyhow. I remember being told once by a mentor thats sling questions about the other and engaging in non judgmental methods of communicating interest and listening through body language and verbal language. I find parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents always love speaking about their children, nieces, nephews or grandchildren and are happy to do so!!
What colour eyeshadow are you wearing in this blog posting. This is beautiful on you.
Vita
I wasn’t too good at it to begin with, and right now I am even worse. Don’t know if it is only lack of practice or if it is also that I really don’t want to anymore.
I’m sorry that people are not asking questions back – unfortunately it’s not only in the Bay area, but here in the UK too! I’m always interested in people’s jobs and hobbies and often ask about them but I can count the number of times people have asked ME about what I do or like on one hand…I suppose I thought Americans would be more sociable…!