Dear Diary,
I’m really getting tired of the menu selection here and how it totally lacks any kind of seasonal variety. Like today, you’d think my assistant would have prepared something special for Easter brunch — maybe an array of tasty springtime gravy appetizers — but noooo.
I recently saw an episode of Must Love Cats where these kitties in the Hamptons actually had personal chefs who prepared their meals from scratch.
FROM SCRATCH!
I’m thinking about sending my assistant to culinary school just to get her thinking more creatively about the menu. Seriously, it would be like the gift that keeps on giving.
Spa update
Things are starting to come together for that upscale kitty spa I told you about. You remember how I met with a life coach at the start of the year? We talked about expanding my kitty beauty empire?
Well, we haven’t nailed down a name yet (I’m partial to “A Purr-fect Place to Relax”), but we have the basic details worked out.
It’ll be a high-end establishment catering to kitty supermodels. Not your run-of-the-mill kitty daycare scene. Think solace and relief. We’ll offer services like deep-tissue kitty massage, fur facials, catnip aroma therapy rooms, manis/pedis — the works!
I mean, it’s so hard for cats to balance work and a personal life these days. I know that in my case, I have to fight for my me time, and I just feel that if it’s that way for me, it must be that way for other kitties, too.
This could be a game changer for the cat community. I really don’t want to get ahead of myself because I know we’re still in the planning stages, but Burke Williams? Yeah, I could be the Burke Williams of the cat spa world.
Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC is poised to take off!
Gotta run. My assistant has me on a strict schedule, and if I don’t take this nap, it’ll throw my whole night off. I have a midnight wardrobe fitting for a feline stage play I’m doing next month, a cats-only version of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.
No rest for the weary!
More money, more problems,
Tabs
😀 😀 😀 😀
I adore Tabs! My cat Ivan (the name just stuck somehow) looks so adorable curled up at the end of my bed right now, but during the day he’s not so nice. I think he, like Tabs, is frustrated with his humans’ lack of appreciation and thoughtfulness toward him. Ha!!
Hahahah brilliant post! High paws five, Tabs!
Tabs, a most excellent diary post! Our girls Sasha and Britt understand your frustration with the underwhelming food choices in the house and our apparent lack of concern for their five-star cuisine needs. So until we shape up and get some tastier morsels on the board, they will continure to revolt by opening and shutting the food cabinet door 10 times in a row, all the while glaring at us. My best to you and your assistant!
Oh hahaha I LOVE the pics of him curling up in the basin!!! Tango loves to hang out in our shower, but so far I haven’t caught anyone in the basin. It’s so super cute!!!
PS: I think you should send your assistant to culinary school. The lack of gravy appetizers is too depressing.
Hi Tabs! <3
LOL! You know what? I am a cat person even though I don’t have a cat myself. Seeing tabs in so many postures actually make me so happy!
Cuteeeee ^^ nice post tabs haha.. i’m not really a cat person though, but i like to watch it 🙂
Tabs , you know what I think would be a great post for you and karen to do ? ya’ll could make a list of your top 50 favorite beauty/makeup products!! I bet all the ladies on here would love it!
Tabs, good job on the post, big guy! Not only do you look amazing, sexy and glamorous, but you can write well, too. Is there anything you can’t do? And I also think you should your assistant to culinary school; think of all the delicious gravy combos she can come up with! Delish! Gotta keep your energy up, you know.
Dear Tabs,
Coco and I are dogs, but we sympathize with your menu difficulties. We are really tired of the same old kibble day in and day out, and are wondering if we need to advertise for a new human assistant. Plus, she won’t allow us to dig up the vegetable garden. These incompetent humans really are a pain in the neck!
Sincerely,
Lucy
Leader of the Pack and
Head Butt Sniffer
lol, don’t you feel just a little tempted to turn on the faucet and give him a quick shower while he’s in the basin already lol….
More money, more problems! Love it!