Rosie

This was an exciting time of year for Tabs. Company coming over, trees INSIDE the house, blinking lights, the biggest turkeys of the year — for a cat like Tabs, the holidays were a cat cornucopia of comfy couches, fragrant foliage, tinsel, tasty treats and plump plumage.

As the head of the decorating committee for Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC, Tabs was responsible for the Christmas tree decorations, and I just sort of did what he said.

Normally, it would go down something like this: first week of December, and he hadn’t decided on the overall theme yet, but he’d have it narrowed down to something like baked red, green and silver catnip crispy ornament treats or strings of classic white lights and red Christmas balls.

Probably. But he wouldn’t be sure yet.

Whichever way it went, he always got a lot of help. The decorating committee was always on standby and awaiting orders.

And Tabs? Well, he was always late because of this or that. A lot of the time it was just because his morning patrol ran long. They were usually uneventful, except for one or two cats who’d try to steal one of the decorative catnip plants by the company main entrance.

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Seasons greetings! Hard to believe we’re in full-on Christmas season time now, isn’t it? Folks getting their tree (we did today!), putting up the Christmas lights (workin’ on it!), other decorations. I was looking back at December posts over the years, and when I came upon this one it made me smile. 🙂 Mt. Saint Tabby? That was SO Tabs.

It was a quiet morning on our hill today. Nothing really exciting happened, except for some joggers running by, which made a certain someone’s tail poof up…

While Tabs checked out the usual blades of grass, plants and trees, I spent some time thinking about how possessive and jealous Tabs gets now in his older age.

And not just with his humans. He’s also like that with his domain outside. I may or may not have received a Post-It last week asking me to write the city about renaming our hill, “Mt. Saint Tabby,” because Tabs doesn’t like the thought of anybody, and by “anybody,” I mean any other cats, chilling on his hill.

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Jeez! It’s December already? Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Rosie is NOT ready.

Tabs handled the holidays differently. He was a total pro about it, planned everything out months in advance. His Christmas plans were always well underway by August.

But Rosie didn’t even begin to take Christmas seriously until this weekend, and now she’s frantic!

Wait — did I say frantic? 😂

I meant “totally uninterested and really fantastic.”

Seriously, she isn’t bothered about it at all. She has three PhDs and a feline Nobel Prize. Rosie spends her days researching climate change and nuclear fusion. She isn’t worried about planning for Christmas.

I’m sure she’ll pull something amazing together in the last few days. #bosskitty

Marnie, on the other hand, has no idea what’s going on. 😂

Deputy Derp, reporting for duty!

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Don’t let the torbitude and dreamy eyes fool ya. Rosie is a ruthless competitor. She knows what she wants, and she usually gets it.

Take, for instance, last summer’s crisis over her favorite treats, the aptly named Temptations, in tasty chicken flavor.

She wanted more of them than I could provide. To be honest, she wanted them all — all of the Tasty Chicken Temptations nationwide.

She threw herself into research, trying to reverse engineer the recipe for Temptations; however, every batch was a little bit off.

Growing frustrated, she encountered an old sailor cat in a downtown Novato bar who told her the story of El Río de Tentación, the River of Temptation…

According to the legend, hidden somewhere along the banks of the Sacramento River in Northern California were ancient ruins, within which held the Lost Book of Temptation, the book that contained the original recipe for Tasty Chicken Temptations.

Rosie set out to find it!

After three days of searching, during which time she became very hungry, she found the ruins….

The book was well guarded by dogs and other traps, but eventually she found it and uncovered the secret recipe!

Now Rosie makes her own Temptations whenever she wants. 🙂

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Novato police are on the lookout for a burglar who broke into the Novato Museum of Cat Antiquities last night.

Detective Rosie was first on the scene.

“Meow,” she said, when asked for a description of the burglar.

The break in occurred shortly after 2:00 AM, and police were alerted when the burglar set off the museum’s security alarm.

Police put out an APB and started a manhunt…although video surveillance suggests the suspect could be a canine.

“Meow,” said Detective Rosie. If you or someone you know has information that leads to the arrest of the Novato Museum of Cat Antiquities burglar, Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC is offering a reward.

Company founder and former Chief Feline Officer Tabs was a captain in the Canadian Cat Mounties before embarking upon his successful career as a kitty supermodel and entrepreneur, and the company continues to be a strong supporter of law enforcement.

“Meow,” said Rosie again. Sooner or later, we’ll catch this criminal.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Last year Harris, that dastardly lothario, won the annual Novato pumpkin growing contest, which came as a huge shock to Rosie because she thinks he’s mentally inferior.

While that may be true, Harris has figured out how to grow big pumpkins.

This year, Rosie isn’t holding back. She’s put a lot of time and scientific work into maximizing her pumpkin yields. She also read a bunch of books on botany and interviewed all the top minds in the field.

Hopefully she can reclaim the crown that Tabs once had. 😸

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

No one threw a Halloween shindig like Tabs — fancy cat costumes, spooky snacks, special appearances from top-tier talent, including Tabs. In fact, Heidi Klum stole the idea for her spooky soirees from him. Here’s a look back at a typical Halloween 🎃 and all the prep Tabs usually did.

My Darlings,

There’s an old saying in the plus-size kitty modeling world: “Go big or go home,” and I take that phrase to heart when it comes to hosting parties. I want my guests to be talking about them for years to come.

Being a famous feline supermodel, I’ve hosted many Halloween shindigs in my time, and I have almost a decade of party-planning experience. In that vein, here are the four essential components of a successful feline Halloween party.

1. Invitations

First things first — the invitations. In the digital age, e-vites and group invites via Facebook are acceptable; however, I’m a little old fashioned. I prefer paper invitations. Do what I do, and ask your assistant to design you a custom invite.

Don’t forget to include all of the pertinent details, like date and time, location, how to RSVP and, most importantly, the dress code.

2. Food

As you can tell by my husky girth, food is EXTREMELY important to me. Catering is always an option, of course, but if you are lucky enough to have an in-house chef/gravy preparer (I do), spend some time with them brainstorming fun Halloween-themed beverages, hors d’oeuvres and desserts.

I start scouring gourmet cat culinary magazines months beforehand, and this is what I’ll be serving this year. Feel free to riff on any of these ideas.

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