Tabs

Who is Tabs the Cat?
About seven years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model).

The sun was out in full force today, as were the neighborhood crows…

But more on that in a second. 🙂

Tabs went for a wonderful walk this afternoon and soaked up plenty of outdoor adventure and sunshine.

He had a blast. First, he met one of our new neighbors who, despite pet assisting for an unruly Rhodesian Ridgeback, turned out to be quite nice. The man even gave Tabs a quick scratch under the chin.

Tabs got his fill of grass, too. He was workin’ it like a lawnmower, LOL! Everything was going great until a pair of HUGE crows, evidently unafraid of me and Tabs, landed nearby and started cawing.

“Go away! Go away!”

That’s how it sounded…

Tabs didn’t know what to make of ’em. He didn’t attack. He just stared, curiously.

For Tabs, it was the most thrilling walk of the year so far.

And in kitty modeling news, Tabs has been keeping busy, of course. With spring finally here, the winter campaigns are finished, and now it’s time for outdoor activities, travel and water/leisure sports.

Yup, it’s a good time to be a kitty supermodel. 🙂

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Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, commonly regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most widely syndicated cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.

A red carpet quandary

DEAR TABBY: Exciting news, Tabby! Last night I found out that a film I recently worked on, 300: Rise of an Empire, is going to have a big red carpet premiere IN HOLLYWOOD, and I’m going to walk the red carpet!

As you may have guessed, I work in the film industry — but not as a cat actor or anything. I’m more of a behind-the-scenes kitty, primarily working in security (I hunt rodents on the set).

I’ve been doing it a few years, but this will be the first major event I’ve attended.

I’m a little nervous because I have absolutely no idea what to wear! Would a glitter-encrusted collar be appropriate? With or without bells? Or should it be something more subtle? I don’t want to stick out like a sore paw.

Help!

—Hapless in Hollywood

DEAR HAPLESS: How funny! I’m actually going to be at that same event! One of the fight choreographers on the new 300 also worked with me on Spider Tabs. If you see me there, please come up and introduce yourself. I would love to meet you.

As for your question, for red carpet events, I generally stick to classic kitty wear. Collars with simple lines and elegant touches in neutral shades like black or beige, coupled with a few tasteful details like diamonds and/or Swarovorski crystals, always works. Simple and timeless. Something like that would still look good 50 years from now.

Not that there’s anything wrong with current trends like a brightly colored glittery collar. That could totally look fierce. If you’re sure you can pull it off, go for it, but if you have any doubts at all, classic always works. You don’t want to end up on somebody’s Worst Dressed List (remember the Bjork swan dress?).

I have a litmus test when it comes to my event outfits. If it looks like something a cat James Bond would wear, do it. Hasn’t failed me yet (knock on wood!).

One last tip: if you can, book an appointment way in advance with a professional fur stylist for the day of the event. I’m paws-itive you could handle your own styling, but having a pro take care of it for you means one less thing to worry about.

A cat in pursuit of a lifelong dream

DEAR TABBY: I’ve decided to pursue my lifelong dream of competing as a professional kitty bodybuilder, and I remembered reading in your World’s Sexiest Cat interview for People magazine that you adhere to a strict diet and workout regimen when you’re preparing for major roles. Do you think I should start growing my own organic cat grass and juicing, or should I cut my carbs and increase protein from seafood? I’m not sure where to start. What foods work best for you when you’re bulking up for a role? And what are your favorite exercises?

—Fitness Fan in Florida

DEAR FITNESS: Congrats for pursuing your dream! That first step is always the toughest.

As for nutrition, well, when I have to bulk up for a role, my personal trainer ups my gravy and protein intake — especially turkey. In addition to plyometric exercises (lots of jumping), I do a lot of yoga to prepare myself mentally and help with focus. It’s always important, but even more so when you’re competing. Eye of the tiger and all, you know.

Keep me posted on your progress, and don’t forget to take some before and after pics. Perhaps you’ll send me a ticket to your first pro event? Hint-hint. I’d love to go.

An appropriate gift for a host family?

DEAR TABBY: I work as a medical researcher, and I’m conducting a study on Japan’s cat cafe culture — specifically any relationship between cat cafes and lowered stress levels in humans. Next fall I head overseas to live and work in Japan, and when I first arrive, I’ll be staying with a host family, with whom I’ll be living until I acclimate and find a place of my own.

I’d very much like to bring them some kind of small present, something to say “thank you for welcoming me into your home.” What do you suggest?

—Traveling Researcher in Riverside

DEAR TRAVELING: That’s very thoughtful and classy of you. A small token sets the stage for a smooth visit.

I’ve stayed with host families overseas a number of times, and I always like bringing gourmet cat treats from home — things my hosts may not have easy access to over there.

What about swinging by your favorite artisanal catnip shop before you leave, or do you know of anyplace near you that makes organic, locally-sourced kitty treats? Once you’ve decided on a gift, wrapping it up makes it a little more practical and special. Your hosts will be able to re-purpose a ribbon, say, and be able to play with it after they finish the treats.

Oh, and don’t forget the thank you card!

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addicts,

Karen and Tabs

P.S. I had a blast with you in The Walking Dead Twitter party tonight. Thanks for keeping me company during the show. I still haven’t completely recovered from that scene with Rick about Carl, and I’m not sure I ever will. HOLY LOSING YOUR SH*T, BATMAN!

What a great show!!!

You may not be able to tell because of his Rubenesque physique, but Tabs leads a very active kitty lifestyle. He kayaks, stand-up paddles — actually, he even volunteers as a cheerleading coach for underprivileged kitties; he’s also an experienced tumbler.

He does not just sit around and have me hand-feed him kitty treats. Oh, no! In fact, now that the days are getting longer and the weather’s getting nicer, he’s already preparing for his spring and summer activities, which include whitewater rafting.

He’s an incredibly busy kitty, but that doesn’t stop him from getting sh*t done. He’s still at the top of his modeling game, like this week, he worked on ad campaigns for Covercat, Kerastase, NYC, NYX and Urban Decay.

If you’re interested, here are the latest pics from his kitty modeling portfolio. 🙂

Who is Tabs the Cat?
About seven years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model).

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It’s rough for Tabs when it’s sunny like this because he wants to be outside constantly. There’s just so much to do! — like cavort with the new neighborhood kitties (there are two of them) and tend to his deck garden, now freshly planted with snapdragons, Gerbera daisies and catnip, among other plants his human friends find tasty, like tomatoes and sweet pepper.

On Saturday he made a Home Depot run and picked up a few tools and some pieces of lumber.

Yes, he’s multitalented like that. 🙂

Seriously, have you ever seen a cat do carpentry? It’s really quite incredible. He built a table to set his daisies and snapdragons on and a small planter box for cat grass. Later this week he plans to build an improv cat tree from which he’ll be able to survey his dominion. He’s drawing up the plans as we speak…

Tabs loves gardening. It’s how he relaxes after a tough week of kitty modeling. Last week was particularly brutal. He had back-to-back trips to Tokyo and Ireland to shoot ad campaigns for NARS and Benefit, respectively, and then an overnight stay in New York for MAC.

He’s really racking up the frequent flyer miles…

Here are the latest kitty modeling campaigns in his portfolio. Hope you enjoy!

Who is Tabs the Cat?
About seven years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model).

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

P.S. So much good TV on tonight! Gah! I can’t wait to see what happens on The Walking Dead, and then there’s Cosmos. I have to make a really quick run to Trader Joe’s now, and Tabs needs more dry food from Petco. Must hurry back!

Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, commonly regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most widely syndicated cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.

Cat contemplates closet living

DEAR TABBY: I realize that this may be kind of an odd question, but I was wondering… Do you think it might be possible to set up permanent residence in a closet?

I ask because I’ve found one in the home I’m currently occupying, and I’m enjoying it very much. It’s filled with piles of comforting clothes, several pairs of stinky shoes (my favorite!), and it’s just nice and quiet and dark.

I feel safe in there, and it’s peaceful, unlike my previous residence.

Let me explain…

Before I moved into this closet, I shared an apartment with a family that barely paid any attention to me at all. Feeling unfulfilled, I left that situation to live off the land in the woods behind the complex.

For a while, I enjoyed getting in touch with my wildcat side, but that didn’t last long. I soon learned that some cats are fit for life on the road, but it’s just not my style.

So I took up temporary residence at a bed and breakfast/cat shelter in the area, sharing a condo with several other kitties. I liked the steady meals and the friendly staff, but I still felt like something was missing, you know?

Before long, the proprietors of the establishment placed me in something they called “a forever home” with a nice lady named Denise, with whom I’m living now.

Please understand — I’m not complaining. I like Denise. She’s a competent assistant, fully capable of opening cans of gravy and tending to my whims and needs. It’s just that…I don’t know her very well. I’m also shy, and I don’t feel ready to give my heart to somebody that I’m not sure will still want me around in a few months.

Tabby, do you think it’s crazy of me to live in this closet forever? I’m sure that I could find a way to have my mail forwarded and my meals delivered here, in which case I’d never have to leave. What do you think?

—Hiding in Houston

DEAR HIDING: It sounds like you’ve faced some tough challenges over the past few months, and I commend your wherewithal.

Before we tackle the closet issue, however, let me first say that I think it’s natural to be a little shy around a new assistant. Change like that can be discombobulating, and it’s purr-fectly normal to feel unsure about a new living arrangement. It’s understandable that you’d seek out someplace dark, safe and quiet.

But while closets are wonderful for respite, there’s still a whole, wide world out there in the house to explore. Think of all the birds and neighborhood cats you could watch through the living room windows, or the fun games you could play with Denise.

Imagine how nice it could be to relax with her on the couch. Let me tell you — there are few things in this world better than reclining on a couch while your assistant gives you a deep-tissue kitty massage.

I urge you to live in the moment, let go of your past, and leave the closet for a while.

Take the leap! — and live your life to the fullest.

Fashionable or faux pas?

DEAR TABBY: Is it appropriate to wear a black leather harness/collar to an afternoon tea party?

I recently procured one by McQueen, and I’m very excited about wearing it. I’m just afraid that it might be inappropriate for the venue.

—Fashionably Forward-Thinking Feline in Fort Lauderdale

DEAR FORWARD-THINKING: I believe in wearing what you want, when you want to wear it, so I say go for it!

With that said…I also believe in putting your best paw forward. Will there be press at the event? If so, you may not want to be known in the gossip blogs as the cat who wore black pleather to a tea party.

First impressions count. I love daring collars as much as the next high-fashion feline, but in this case, not knowing the potential for media coverage, I’d advise you to save it for another time. Maybe the next time you and your friends go clubbing?

Think paws-itively! Now you have an excuse to go shopping for a new outfit. Visit my friend Karl over at Chanel, and tell him I sent you. He’ll treat you right.
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