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Dear Diary,

Home sweet home!

I can’t even remember how long it’s been since my last entry. I’ve just been traveling so much lately, you know, trying to stay busy.

I was in Manila this weekend on the last leg of a press junket for the new Bourne movie. My crazypants agent booked me for interviews in Milan, Paris and then Manila all within 48 hours! Total madness, but at least I was able to see my grandparents while I was in Manila. They’ve been visiting out there for a couple months.

Oh, get this: Renner is getting top billing on the Bourne movie posters. Can you believe that? I know he’s the star, but I’ve been getting rave reviews for my secret spy cat cameo.

I mean, I didn’t have to dig deep for the role. When you spend your formative kitten years fending for yourself as a stray on the mean streets of Mill Valley, you get pretty good at defending yourself.

Sure, it brought back some difficult memories…all of those cold, lonely nights without a drop of gravy in my belly, but I just channeled the emotions into my performance.

That’s what you do when you’re an A-list Hollywood kitty.

You may have heard that Renner did some of his own stunts in the movie. Well, I did all of mine. Trained like a mofo for ’em, too, so I’d get everything just right.

DO NOT try this at home, kids…
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I guess it’s safe to discuss now that the tests are over and we’re just waiting on the results. From NASA.

I couldn’t mention anything about it before because of a non-disclosure agreement, but Tabs is one of five feline finalists to become commander of NASA’s next mission to Mars. Yup, I went with him this weekend down to NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory at the California Institute of Technology where they ran him and the other finalists through a barrage of tests. Gravy deprivation, zero-gravity mousing, a cat obstacle course with animatronic guard dogs, and puzzles to test problem solving skills.

He did well in the obstacle course, passed the puzzles (in one, the instructors left a door slightly ajar, and the cats were monitored to see if they could paw it open) and cleaned up in the zero-gravity mousing test, coming in first among the five kitties.

But he came in dead last in the gravy deprivation test (of course)…

I hope his overall scores were good enough to keep him in the running, though, because it’s been years since I’ve seen Tabs want something as much as he wants this. To be a part of the first feline mission to Mars would be a huge honor. Not only has Tabs always wanted to be an astrocat, but as he put it, “My being on this mission would mean so much to future feline generations.” Seeing a one-time stray cat rise to international stardom as a plus-size kitty supermodel before walking on the surface of Mars? It would send a message to millions of strays and house cats around the world that anything is possible, and not even the sky is the limit anymore.

Luckily, Tabs had a pretty light week of kitty modeling so he had time to focus on his NASA training regimen, but he did work on a few campaigns…

And here are the highlights (linger on the Maybelline ad for a second or two). 🙂

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